My Blog

At last God confronted me. He did it in a way I least expected. Instead of telling me how much I drifted… instead of condemning me for living a life not pleasing before Him… instead of counting the thousand and one situations when I went my own way and do whatever pleased me, God warmly embraced me and showed me that all these times He remained faithful and He will bring into completion what he has started in my life. So overwhelming. I’m so undeserving.

Even the dumbest of all dumbs will tell I’m not worthy of it. But God’s ways are higher than ours. God’s love surpasses all knowledge, unfathomable that it breaks all human logic.

God never gives up on me… and yes Bob, He never will.

I’m now at the point of my life when I realized I’m in the middle of nowhere. I drifted farther than my "walk in the park to get some air" excuse. Now I’m wandering… alone… clueless… lost. Yet amidst the rush of of the crowd’s footsteps, the honking of horns in the traffic jam, the staggering skyscapers and the luring neon lights, a gentle clear familiar voice is calling me to go back home. The voice has always been there, I just deliberately ignored it. It was so strange, that when the world’s noise was louder than ever, the old loving voice became more clear. The call crushed everything that has been hardened by this cruel place I’m in. I turned to my left and my right and saw the "good life" I always wanted. I tried looking ahead and got scared to take another stride… I might not be able to go back… I looked behind and saw a tragedy — a swarm of lifeless people, enjoying the temporary pleasures that the world lavishly offers. Now I’m dead frightened that I can’t move. Then the voice, more compassionate than it has been, said, "Come…".

I don’t know how but I wanna go home…

been contemplating lately and i realized i’m getting tired being single. it’s nice to imagine that somebody’s thinking of you before you go to sleep… or after a tiresome day you’ll have someone whom you can share with the senseless exciting things that happened to you… and somebody whom you just want to fill your cup with.

a lot of prospects but reluctance, half-heartedness and immaturity are my friends… when will i be ready?

tell me, am i just paranoid to entertain these rubbish thoughts… am i pathetically lonely… or, am i just a coward who is afraid to fail?